Humor in death and dying

When I was a 3rd year or 4th year high school student, I stumbled upon this pile of National Geographic magazines somewhere in my school library and began skimming through the pages. After getting past a few magazines, I came across an article about a man who isn't afraid of death though he prays not to die in a funny way. It was a short piece- just a little less than a page but was awfully hilarious. I decided to keep the article and casually tore the page from the magazine. It's been on my old wallet ever since. It even started to look like an age-old papyrus out of Egypt and even has this nostalgic smell. The past Halloween and a blog about death I just read days ago reminded me of the page I tore 2 or 3 years ago. This inspired me to create my own version of how I would not want people to laugh when I die. Read on.

Before I continue my babbling, I would like to clearly say that I don't want to die. Who in their right noggins would want to die? Well, those who experience agony and despair might want to die but death's not the answer you know. Back to topic, I just don't want to die in a funny way. You know, the type of death of that makes people attending my funeral giggle 'cause I died in a stupid way.

I don't want to die because I was bitten to death by ants. Especially not while I was burning their comrades with a magnifying glass. That would only result in a bloated corpse and an extra large coffin. It might also get into the headline of some newspaper - 'man killed by murderous ants' of some sort. A movie about my death also doesn't sound good to me. REVENGE OF THE KILLER ANTS is not my kind of movie. Also, I don't wanna die in a way that would make my death turn into a horror story and circulate around the net as chain messages. An example would be: "This is a true story. A few years ago, a car accident took the life of one man while he was blissfully cycling down a busy highway. His skull was brutally crushed and his internal organs were all around the place. Evey night on the same highway an apparition of a happy man would appear. Send this to 1000 people or else he will come visit you at exactly 1:23am." Making a mountain out of a mole isn't what my spirit would've wanted.

I don't want to die being dragged to death by my pet dog- if I'll ever have one. Or worse being dragged to death by a CAT. That would really, really suck...and hurt of course. Not to mention embarrassing. And I don't want pain to be the last feeling I felt. I'd also prefer not to die will volunteering for a magic act that terribly went wrong. You know, the he'll-cut-me-in-half-then-suddenly-blood-spurted-everywhere types of magic. Or the darts-that-accidentally-gorged-my-eye-types of magic. Nope, don't want to die like that.

I also don't want to die because I slipped on a banana and hit my head on something hard. That would probably result in conversations such as this:

GUY 1: I heard that he's a good guy. Pity that he has to die so young.
GUY 2: I feel ya man! *tears welling up* 
GUY 1: Don't you dare cry! Suck those tears up, that's right, suck them up! *tears welling up too*
GUY 2: How'd he die again?
GUY 1: Oh, he slipped on a banana.
GUY 2: He SLIPPED on a banana?! Is that for real?
GUY 1: Yeah.
GUY 2: Well, that's funny.
GUY 1: That's why I told you not to cry.

Lastly, I don't want to die while watching Phineas and Ferb. I don't want to die in any way while watching Phineas and Ferb. I mean, come on, that's my favorite show. Same goes while I'm watching Yu-hee the Witch, Fairy Tail, etc, etc. Who'd want to die while watching their fave shows?

So that's about it. This'll be my last blog about death and dying because talking about life and living is undoubtedly more enjoyable. Hurray for life!

PS: I apologize to the people who knew someone that died in any of the statements I mentioned above. They are pure coincidence and mean nothing. 

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 6, 2010 and is filed under ,,,. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response.

4 Responses to “Humor in death and dying”

  1. I almost died laughing. Did I just say die? Haha. The beeeeeeeest. :))))

  2. Haha this is hilarious! Came across your blog when I was on Starlight's and I have to say I love your humour.

  3. @mekay: Haha.Thanks. Behold my writing prowess nga eh.Syempre the best tlga yan. :)

    @No Lies Just Love: Thanks for the follow and compliment. I'll be sure to check your blog as well. :)

  4. That was quite funny....and I hope none of that happens to me too....